In retrospect it's almost embarrassing, how little they'd talked about trying to have a baby. What it would mean to each of them, and to them together. She'd been running on hope and desperation and pushing aside all the questions.

"If you hadn't come back, I would have left you off," she admits. It's not exactly a decision she's proud of, but it's the pragmatic one.

"I don't know what I want." Hasn't that always been her problem? She knows what she should want, but that rarely aligns with the hungers inside her. She wants to keep her job and she wants to keep him, to have everything, no matter how contradictory.

"I hate the thought of pretending he isn't yours. Even if that's the safest option, you shouldn't have to."